glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
bring money and cleavage
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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