So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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