he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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