Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
