Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
