Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I cannot find my penis.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
