WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize