Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
