ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
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