I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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