I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
