how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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