How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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