so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
