if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
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