dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
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