marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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