I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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