I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
