Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
