great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
