don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
