He asked me if I "almost moaned"
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
