she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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