She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Drunk walkin through police station. America
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
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