"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
