Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
