My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
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