i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
where does the pee come out of this thing
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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