she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
