I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Let's paint friendship bongs
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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