I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize