he was CRYING into my vagina
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
