Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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