You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
