i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
