And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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