So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
