she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize