New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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