I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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