from now on my penis is your penis
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
