so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
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