My hand turned me down
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
