I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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