just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize