Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
