I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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