This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
