I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
