Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
