It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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