what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
