If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize