I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
