We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
