ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize