the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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