Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
