you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
