I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
