Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
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