I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
