So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
