just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Let's get the cat blown out
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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