hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
