Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
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