That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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